— 1 min read
What is it, and where does it come from?
And more importantly, how do we overcome it?
lack of confidence in the reliability of one's own motives, personality, thought, etc.
Good question, and one I don't fully know the answer to.
It's probably a voice in your head, right?
Have you set your standards too high? Are you criticizing yourself for not achieving high standards?
Is it the memory of hurtful comments from a significant other, that maybe had some truth in them?
Were you continually given negative feedback or no feedback at all as a child?
Have you "failed" at things, and you can't stop thinking about/focusing on them?
Maybe it's your ego. Are you humble enough to accept that you can improve?
Do you know yourself well enough? I think that always helps.
Here are some ideas:
Keep this list somewhere you can easily access on days your self-doubt is the worst. Regularly add to it.
Often you don't recognise your strengths as strengths, they are just part of who you are. However, it's insightful to know what others see and admire in you.
Ideally in a physical way. A fist pump or whatever you naturally do when your sports team wins. At the very least, telling yourself "well done".
I see this as an important life skill. Reframe it as: someone cares enough about you to help you be a better person - isn't that amazing?!
Maybe this is too 'out there' for some people, but I actually keep a list of (meaningful) compliments that I receive from people. I believe it to be effective because it helps to capture the feeling you had when you received the compliment. And 'feeling' is hard to summon when you are experiencing self-doubt.
Finally, I view self-doubt as a kind of a court case against the internal voice.
Gather as much evidence as you can, present it in a logical and convincing manner, win the case, and send the voice to jail.